Moving On Is Hard To Do

I know I’ve written about it before: the inevitable end to the semester and the search for what’s next. The thing is, I always kind of figured I would look for something local, find an apartment, and move out. Sure, I applied to a couple of internships with publishing houses in New York, but I never heard back from them. Now… I don’t know. I’m applying for an actual job in New York City, and I think I might have a chance, however small. I don’t want to get my hopes up, even though it would be amazing to work there, and also because I’m a little bit terrified. I never expected my first adventure in living on my own would be so far away! It reminds me of the six weeks I lived in California in 2013. Yes, it was only six weeks, but it was huge for me.

I can’t fool myself, though. If I do get the job, of course I’ll go. If I don’t, I don’t, but if I do… it would be an adjustment, but I would absolutely do it. Besides being a writer, this is the thing I want to do more than anything else. I have to go for it! Sometimes the things that scare us the most are the things we need to do. It’s taken me years to understand that. I’m still afraid of so many things, but I’m trying not to let it define me anymore.

To be continued!

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